Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose.
Student: You mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: Yeah basically
Me: Doesn't taste like...
Just gave my friend from work the number of an...
And now we play the waiting game.
Do not accept free drink from work.
You will be sick in a pub toilet.
dawnofthedusk: I just really want to see The Artist. I’ll go! I’m dying to see it.
Today is a day for excessively nice make-up for...
“Burgers for lunch?! GLITTER EYESHADOW!!!111!!!”
ifyoucarryonthisway: do you ever just hold your boobs for no reason
How to run a show like an asshole:
Most Show Creators: We'd just like to let all our fans know that we've been signed on for a second AND a third season! Woo-hoo! You guys are great, thanks for all the love and support!
Team Mofftiss: Yeah guys, we've got season two coming. No idea if a third season is in the cards though.
Team Mofftiss: Still no word on a third season. Martin Freeman is busy hobbiting around New Zealand and Benedict Cumberbatch is like a fuckin' superstar now. Idek, guys.
Team Mofftiss: Why does everybody assume there is going to be a third season? It's really not looking likely. I mean, practically everybody dies at the end of season two anyway.
Team Mofftiss: LOL YOU FUCKS, WE'VE BEEN SIGNED ON FOR SEASON THREE SINCE THE BEGINNING.
Nicolas Cage: I'm going to steal The Declaration of Independence.
Moriarty: I have an app for that.
The episode should have ended with John getting a text saying: “Wrong!” And then there would be gay sex.