the-stradivarius:

if i lay here

if i just lay here

would you lie with me and marathon the extended edition lord of the rings trilogy

(Source: higherfunction, via dawnofthedusk)

11,964 notes

tittily:

tittily:

i care about you guys and your needs

here’s a link to a 55 gallon drum of lube on amazon 

image

image

(via tramampoline)

1,383 notes

halcyonstarfish:

Such graceful creatures.

halcyonstarfish:

Such graceful creatures.

(Source: ruinlion, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

59,610 notes

queelez:

lord-of-the-nerds:

discordion:

When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull
When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.
When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.
When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.
When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.
When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.
When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.
When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.

clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented 


#incompetent time-travelling saxophone haters

queelez:

lord-of-the-nerds:

discordion:

When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull

When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.

When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.

When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.

When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.

When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.

When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.

When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.

clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented 

#incompetent time-travelling saxophone haters

(via probablyanime)

293,996 notes

du4ne:

me liking your selfie could either mean “that’s a nice picture friend” or “i want to bend you over a table” but you’ll never know

(via pizza)

468,443 notes

"When you are going down on a guy… “always sheath your teeth”"

Stiggyjazz (via pussylovernumber9)

2 notes

unirony:

lebanesegirlswag:

unirony:

croptops r for anyone 2 wear n everyone 2 celebrate

Unless you have a muffin top.

here’s a to-do list for u

  • fix yr garbage ass blog
  • fix yr garbage ass attitude

(via lardypoison)

42,988 notes

It’s true. But he wasn’t a very nice man.

(Source: barahirs, via stravaganza)

4,375 notes

when I cheat on my pirate bf

fkcngg09-0123wtffffck235123shtit:

me: I’m sorry babe I love u
bf: walk the plank

(via stravaganza)

10,168 notes

School: no shoulder-revealing shirts
Student: why?
School: you might ferociously anal fist each other in the hallway
95,033 notes

hungarian:

if u rub your boobs together it will start a fire

(via braydaaan)

190,796 notes

(Source: coinlaundrys, via cratersandscars)

21,522 notes

Tomorrow I’m doing a sort of unnecessary but also probably actually necessary 80-mile trip to check my mail.

Tomorrow’s going to be fun.

0 notes